So, I said in the last post that I’ve never dated…I’m betting, had I any readers, you’d be shaking your heads and saying, “So sad…and she seems like such a nice girl…such a pretty face.”. :oP
Lemme clarify. It’s not that I’ve been celebate or that I live alone with my hundreds of cats (2, only two…plus two rats…shut up!), it’s just that I’m a relationship girl. And I have some trouble with impulse control. Put those together and you get insta-relationship! Meaning that when I meet someone I like, I fall hard and fast and if they feel the same way, we end up committed pretty quickly. No getting-to-know you chit-chat over coffee…or dinner…just, “Wanna move in?”. To be fair, THAT only happened once and we were then together for fourteen years so…
And then we weren’t anymore. Which was ugly. And hard and painful and sucked the kind of donkey balls that I won’t even try to describe here. Which then brings me to now…
Well, actually, it doesn’t. It brings me to the relationship that I went straight into with barely a pause after I left the marriage. Which is now over as well. Amicably, but I think we both knew it was never going to work…there was a lot of history to overcome (perhaps more on that later) and I think we were doomed from the beginning. Maybe that’s why I chose him…because I needed someone safe, someone I knew wasn’t going to be “the one”.
Anyway, NOW that brings us up to date! And to dating! :oD
When I decided it was time to start getting out there, I was a bit unsure of where to start looking. I’m not really much of a joiner so the idea that I might bump into someone by chance doing some sort of everyday activity seemed like it might take too long…I hate waiting! I spend a ridiculous amount of time on here so that just seemed like the next logical choice. And everyone’s doing it now so I didn’t have to feel like a freak if I ended up meeting someone that I liked and had to tell people how we met.
The next thing was to figure out which site to use. A lot of them seem very…sterile. Pure. Like God HIMSELF is there somewhere, on the other end of the interweebz, matching you up with the perfect man or woman for you! Intimidating! Plus, I am so not into that kind of thing…spirituality of some sort = good, organized religion = not for me. So, let’s just say, I went a different way based on my priorities and leave it at that.
Problem is, while certain things are priorities for me, this does not mean I want to see a picture of your junk in our very first email exchange! Suffice to say, I have reveived more than one of these types of missives, which have promptly (well, fairly promptly anyway) been
saved for later perusal deleted. Thus begins the quest for a decent conversation. The way to my heart is through intelligent, clever, witty banter…no wait, that’s how to get in my pants. Pffft…same thing really.
And it’s a commodity that’s in severely short supply apparently. I get a lot of, “Can I see more pics?” and, “What are you wearing?” and, “Wanna come to my hotel room tonight?”. The answers are generally, no, a big rabbit suit (which frighteningly enough does not ALWAYS do the trick in letting people know I’m not interested!) and oh yes, can I please hook up with a random, possibly crazy stranger in a cheap hotel room, please? *sigh*
So, this is not going to be as easy as I’d hoped. That said, I have already spoken to a couple of nice men and I had dinner with one of them last week, as mentioned. I agreed to go out with him based on the almost effortless way we talked in chat and the fact that we never encountered any awkward silences, screaming to be filled. Dinner was pleasant and the conversation continued to flow so I’ve agreed to see him again although, I’m not sure about the chemistry part. I don’t think I felt any big sparks…but maybe that will come. Or maybe, HUGE sparks are not necessary right now as I’m just dabbling and getting my feet wet, so to speak.
boy man is a *little* younger than me. Fine. He’s 28 and I’m…well, NOT. But again, conversation is flowing and he’s clever, funny, intelligent…and cute. I already feel a *few* sparks with this one…could be the age thing adding a little er…spice. Whatever the case, I’m hoping to meet up with him this week to see if there’s anything there.
But I am TAKING IT SLOW. I don’t think the insta-relationship model works for me anymore, if it ever did. I’m hoping I can keep my shit together long enough to sample a selection of what’s out there before I close up shop again for another decade plus. Just maybe, take a shot at some stuff I’ve wanted to taste for a looong time but was too married or too chicken to try before… ;o)
Wish me luck!